What to Know About Redirection

If there is a more hideous thing than having your mind stolen by disease I don't know what it is. It's hideous for the patient and it's hideous for the family. Without solid support and education on how to deal with it a family can be ripped apart.

One of the most important tools for the family is redirection. It can mean the difference between a combo of anger/hurt feelings and a relatively harmonious family gathering.

The idea is simple; basically it means changing the subject. The difficulty is getting everyone to understand that the subject needs changed and then getting the patient to do the same. I've seen it done quite cleverly in assisted living facilities. Our family is still a little clumsy at it. Here are things to consider.

Know it's coming: You can't always stop it. In fact, in a family group setting it's inevitable. If you know you're going to have to redirect, it's best to watch for the signs so you can act quickly. Those family members who can understand should be brought in. Having help can make it easier.

It's the disease: I hate it when someone tells me that after a stinging false memory has been launched at me with full force. Everyone does. That doesn't make it less true. It just makes redirection more important.

Learn tactics: There isn't any "right" or "wrong" way of using redirection. There are tactics that work once or twice and then don't work. The best way to redirect is to know subjects that are most likely to turn the patient's mind to happier themes. When the patient is feeling particularly stubborn, be prepared for it not to work. Redirection is a tool, not the total solution.

Dementia doesn't mean dumb: Seriously, know that. Treating the patient like an imbecile is going to backfire. Dementia also isn't an "all the time" thing…especially at first. There are going to be days when the patient is fully lucid and days when the patient isn't. Attune yourself to these fluctuations and you will avoid some serious conflicts.

Know who you can count on: This isn't to throw disparagement onto family members. It's a simple fact. Some of your family can and will help you redirect. Some either can't or won't. Depending on the latter is seriously skating on thin ice.

Don't hold on to the bad: Like the "It's the disease" part this isn't something you want to hear after you've had your pedigree questioned and strong hints that you are a lying (etc.) have been made. Holding on to the accusations from a faulty memory is destructive both to the patient and to you. Leave it behind; you don't need it.

How do I know these things? I didn't read them in a book. I didn't learn it in a classroom. I didn't watch my parents do this for their parents…not because they didn't do it but because I didn't recognize it at the time. I've learned this in the school of hard knocks. Please take what our family has (finally, in some cases) learned the hard way so you can have an easier time.